Soothing
by Kats
Summary: [Post series] Inspired by Rin's question in the series about Sesshomaru's empire and her place in it.
1. Reflection

Both chapters have been edited and revised.

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Rin looked at the barrels of soy sauce and pickles and wondered where she was going to put them. The store room, with what she once considered ample space, was full.

" The side kitchen," she finally said to Royokan, " it really is the only place available right now."

As the massive wolf demon picked up the barrels and toddled towards the back room, Rin looked in a sort of wondrous horror at the food she was supposed to prepare that night. Normally Jakken would ask for something specific and she's prepare it for him. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, had never asked her for anything to eat. She simply brought food up to his rooms and then brought the plates back down.

It had started when she had confronted Jakken on supplies in her kitchen going missing. The small demon had angrily denied venturing into such a mundane place and huffed off. That had triggered a thought she initially rejected but which kept coming back to bug her.

'Had Sesshomaru been plundering the kitchen?'

She'd never seen him eat, no one had she was fairly certain, but he obviously had to eat something sometime to survive.

To test it out she'd prepared a dish of rice and fish but found it in the same spot the next morning. Initially thinking that it proved her wrong she took it back and fed it to Jakken. Taking a closer look at her supplies the next morning she realized that she'd overlooked the most important thing. It wasn't fish or rice that had gone missing, it was beef.

The next night Rin snuck to Sesshomaru's rooms deep within the castle he'd constructed with a bowl of lightly cooked beef and left it in his front chamber.

The bowl had been empty the next morning.

Every day since then Rin had provided a bowl of beef and rice every evening and morning. She tried to mix some vegetables in but the majority of the time they were waiting for her in the bowl later. Feeding Sesshomaru, Jakken and herself hadn't been that big of a task at first. Even feeding the growing number of lesser demons who came asking didn't require too much food but every few months they had to stockpile the essentials and that always took up a lot of time and room.

She blushed remembering the way she'd looked when Sesshomaru had appeared to check on progress earlier that day. Blood everywhere, little bits of raw meat scattered across the massive cutting board and all across her front she'd been horrified he'd seen her like that. She refused to think about the thousands of times he'd seen her dirtier in the years she'd been living with him. Lately each time he'd caught her looking disheveled it felt like it was the first time she'd really been aware of his presence.

Sigh

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Sesshomaru walked the long dark corridors of his palace in silence. Although construction was not yet complete the compound was already huge. Each day an increasing number of lesser demons flocked to it in the hopes of getting positions in this strong youkai's court while there were any still available. Jakken, luckily, took care of most of such requests by either granting them access or sending them back the way they came. Sesshomaru was usually either paying visits upon some of the more powerful demons in his land or overseeing the addition of any castle additions.

Despite being a distance from the kitchen he could still smell Rin's cooking and he reminded himself that although Rin's cooking was more then adequate for himself and Jakken, and the lesser demons could currently get their own provisions for all he cared, that wouldn't be the case forever and he should look into having Jakken get some cooks. After all cooking was beneath Rin's position in this budding empire. Despite being only a mere human she was Sesshomaru's personal charge. Any rumors that she was more then that were swiftly squelched beneath the heel of Sesshomaru's shoe. Although he had noted Jakken whispering things with the word 'human' in it with the other gossip mongers lately.

Doubting my words, he irks me more each day 

Although it was true that finding the food waiting for him had initially caused a flash of unexpected emotion Sesshomaru quickly shoved it aside and attributed it to the fact that he'd become woefully unaccustomed to being treated with the grace and sensitivity that was deserving of his rank. At first he'd gamely ignored such dishes that offended his nose but then he'd come in to find a bowl full of beef and he'd been lost in his weakness for it.

Since then he'd found assorted beef dishes waiting for him whenever he departed or arrived. Considering his erratic schedule how she managed to get a hot bowl to his room while it was still fresh defied even his knowledge.

Taking his customary route past the kitchens on his way to his chambers he stopped for a moment outside the door. No had ever caught the great lord hiding behind the door, listening to the human girl mumble about the great pickle thief Jakken, and no one ever would. Approaching his door he caught the now familiar smell of seasoned beef waiting for him. Scooping up the tray waiting on a counter, he walked down the hallway that winded it's way to his inner rooms. There he set the dishes on a small table near his bed and removed his armor and then his robs leaving on only his under leggings. He shook his head vigorously and then ran his hand through his bangs revelling in the unfettered movement that the lack of armor provided.

Lounging back against his pillows, Sesshomaru picked up the bowl of rice and started picking beef out of the side bowl while he contemplated his court. Someday it would rival his fathers in terms of size and prestige. Just as surely he would keep the type of rabble that had risen against his father out. For while he didn't have a human mate he did have a human charge and that would cause as much grumbling among the ranks. Soft footsteps from the chambers next to his broke his thoughts and he listened as he heard Rin move from room to room, allowing himself a brief smile as he heard her open and close the heavy door to her bathing room.

Finally finished in the kitchen 

Rin's rooms had been placed next to his for protection. Any demon who dared intrude this far into his castle and threaten the life of one of his vassals would be far too much for Rin to handle and deserved the honor of dying at Sesshomaru's hands. So far no one had felt strongly enough about the human girl to openly risk death on his claws and he doubted anyone in his court would be that foolish.

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Rin sighed with pleasure as she slipped into the hot bath. The heat soaked into her muscles soothed away a days aches caused by a day in the kitchen spent wrangling barrels into place. Though, she had to admit, she'd had help with most of the heavy lifting and Jakken had stayed away from the pickle barrels for most of the day.

Though the little thief took more then I had thought at first 

She sunk completely into the water and enjoyed, as always, the warm tingling it caused on the top of her scalp. Today had been a good day, an extra good one in fact. It was so rare these days to have Sesshomaru home. She loved the kitchen but she'd gladly trade it for the old days or even just to have Sesshomaru around more. It seemed like so long ago that she'd been alone with Sesshomaru and Jaken, traveling the lands together.

She pushed up to the top of the tub, shaking her hair from her eyes as she surfaced from the water. Relaxing against the side she let herself go limp.

Though knowing when and where your next bath is coming from is a definite plus 

Rin floated in the tub soaking up the heat from the water until her fingers and toes puckered. Climbing out of the now luke-warm bath water she shook her feet off as she lifted it out of the tub. Once standing on the floor she pulled her hair back from her face and gave herself a drying shake. Once, just once, when she was still small she'd caught a glimpse of Sesshomaru rising out of a hot spring like some pale god out of the mist. The image was ruined when he gave in to instinct and gave himself a thorough shake. She'd promptly started trying to emulate him and it'd take a while but she'd gotten good at it.

These days however that memory was more likely to inspire a blush then a giggle.

Slipping into a light robe before moving onto her bed. She flopped down onto the blankets amidst the mounds of pillows and allowed herself the happy thought that Sesshomaru was separated from her by only a few feet of walls. Sighing at the thought that the days of taking comfort in his closeness were over, she crawled to the top of the futon and snuggled down under the silk sheets.

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To make it short, Rin is nineteen in this fic.


	2. Sleepless

One of my friends has passed on. This story is on a temporary hold.

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The noise startled Sesshomaru from his musings. Despite expecting it it never stopped startling him. Perhaps, he wondered, because he hoped it wouldn't come. The cry of terror from the next room caused him to rise in a smooth motion from his bed and stalk over to a large hanging scroll that hid a small escape route from her room to his. He quickly crossed the short distance and entered her room, walking smoothly over to the bed where the girl lashed out against hidden tormentors that plagued her sleep. Settling himself on the edge of her mattress he reached out with one smooth hand and placed it against her forehead. Immediately the cries and flailing about ceased but she still whimpered and the worry lines of her brow were still deeply indented in her skin.

Gently Sesshomaru slid his body onto the blankets next to her, stretching his legs out and positioning his arms to prop him up so he could look at her while he stroked her hair. The whimpering stopped as Rin rolled over towards the warm body and snuggled against his chest. Worry lines remained etched upon her forehead but they were slowly starting to fade away under the soft stroke of his thumb.

Having the warm body pressed up against him was a distraction. Everything she did was a distraction. The problem was that as soon as he started thinking about getting rid of the distraction his mind went to a different subject. He didn't like that either. His mind should be his tool and yet it refused to think about the issue. He'd finally figured a logical reason why. Years of patience had shown that she provided valuable service and getting rid of her would be foolish. She provided not only a temporary cook but a loyal servant and someone to whom Jakken had actually opened up to. The last part Sesshomaru could be arguably most thankful for as it meant less chatter at him.

The feel of Rin wrapping her arms around his waist pulled him back to reality, startling him at how easy he'd slipped from his constant vigilance. Holding very still and observing her breathing he determined she was still asleep.

He was almost tempted to stay.

Being like this with Rin always caused him this problem. It created a fear in his heart he would end up like his father. The fact that the fear that something should happen to Rin outweighed his fear for rebellion caused him even more. If he slipped into such a depraved cycle of destruction he would never be strong enough to hold up the Western Lands. His hand stopped stroking the now smooth forehead and tucked stray hairs back from her open mouth.

Her nightmares concerned him and he sincerely wished they would cease. Giving in to this secret pleasure was not worth the fact that Rin was in torment beforehand. He rose slowly from the bed and walked towards the tapestry that hid her side of the tunnel.

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Rin lay in bed listening to the barely audible footsteps that were moving away from her. She'd woken up to the smell of Sesshomaru and the feel a warm body getting out of her bed.

_This has to be a dream_

She rolled over and opened her eyes to look into the darkness of her room. The chair that she'd put in front of the hidden entryway was slightly out of position but that could be explained. Rin sat up and walked over to the entryway and slid aside the painting scroll that was hanging in front of it. She hated the idea that she was bending it but Sesshomaru had merely looked at her blankly when she protested that it was silly to cover up the entryway.

" Senseless girl," Jakken had cried, " your lord gives you more protection than you deserve and you'd flaunt it everywhere? The other lords would be scandalized. Be grateful that he's giving you as much as he has and do as he wishes."

So the scroll had gone up and Rin had tried to not focus that if she just moved it aside...

Now Rin had actually moved the scroll and scooted slowly across cold stone floor towards his side. She paused right before Sesshomaru's scroll, hesitating at awakening him if he was sleeping.

" What is it Rin?"

She sighed.

Doesn't he ever sleep? 

She pushed the scroll aside.

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Apparently he had been careless in his assessment if Rin had awoken. He waited as she pushed aside the wall covering and stepped towards him. From where he lounged on the futon her hair was disheveled and her robe was wrinkled and looked slightly open at the front and yet she still didn't look...displeasing. He'd give himself that much.

" My lord you're awake," Rin said, moving over to sit at the edge of his bed. " I had hoped you'd be asleep by now."

Rin was the only person in the entire castle who'd dare to approach him and then sit on his bed without permission. Any other being and he'd have scarred their face in the most casual manner but he couldn't bring himself to do so to Rin. She was human and fragile and he had to admit she'd never done anything that was purposefully arrogant.

" So you come into my room when you hope I'm asleep?" He shifted to sit with his left leg extended.

" No my lord," she looked at the bed and then back up, " forgive me but I thought I heard my lord in my room."

Ah, so she hadn't caught him lying next to her then. Perhaps it was the lack of warmth when he moved that had caused her to awaken.

" You were making the loudest noises. I came to see what was causing you distress. It appeared it was nothing more then a bad dream."

She sat for a moment, thinking, before turning to him.

" I'm sorry for causing such trouble."

He narrowed his eyes and turned so that his profile was to her.

" Don't be foolish."

She smiled. If in all the years she'd been with him she'd learned only one thing that was that don't be foolish was his way of saying don't worry about it.

" Are you not tired?"

" No."

She scooted herself up onto the bed and folded her legs underneath her. He gave her a look and she reconsidered for a moment before scooting up to his side and curling up against him.

" Rin it's was no longer appropriate that you sleep near me."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him with a wane smile.

" I know my lord. I only seek the comfort of your presence like I used to and I won't intend to stay for long."

He refused to acknowledge the tiny feeling in the back of his head that wanted to keep her there. It was beneath him.

" As you wish," he stated, keeping his eyes firmly ahead.

He really should be more firm with her. She took leaves that he wouldn't have granted his most favored courtesan though he'd had yet to actually have her do anything senseless in public. He generally didn't tolerate such fragile and weak things around him so the fact that he'd let a human live near him had caused quite a few words to be said behind his back and the fact that she was female had caused the more foolish to question exactly how much like his father he was.

Looking to his side he realized that Rin had fallen asleep despite her assurances.

Her face had none of the lines or fear that it had shown earlier and if he didn't know better he'd believe that her face couldn't show such signs. Her mouth slightly open and lying on her side, she had her knees curled up to her chest and her hands loosely folded in front of her. The top of her head was close to his hip and he dryly observed a small trickle of drool coming out of her mouth.

How...lovely

He stifled the sigh that grew in his chest. He'd been doing that far too often lately and he was in need of rest and he couldn't bring himself to let his guard down around anyone, even if that someone was asleep and drooling.

Despite the fact that he could easily move her to her room if he so desired but he couldn't quite work up the motivation. He tilted his head back to rest on a large cushion and stared at the ceiling. The smooth whiteness pleased him. He'd worked hard for all that surrounded him. He'd had to rely a bit more on physical intimidation in some cases then he had wanted to originally when he decided to speed up his plans for the empire. Jakken's fearful voice came back to him

" I don't know why she said such things my lord. I have no idea why Rin of all people would think about death at a time like this my lord, forgive me my lord, I'll find out."

" Don't bother," he'd said curtly, dismissing Jakken to scamper to the other side of the campsite. A few moments later a small Rin came stumbling back into the campsite from relieving herself in the woods. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and headed over towards Ah-nun for the night.

" Rin come here."

She froze and then walked over to him and sat on her knees next to him.

" Yes Sesshomaru-sama?"

" Your words earlier, explain them."

She stared at him for a moment. Biting her lip she looked at the sky and then back at Sesshomaru.

" Which ones my lord?"

" The foolish ones."

Her face brightened and she bopped a tiny fist into a tiny hand.

" Ah! Yes, see Jakken was talking about your empire. He said," her voice turned sad, " that I would be dead by the time you set yours up so...so I wanted you to remember me even though you'd have all that nice stuff."

She yawned, hastily covering it with a hand and looked at Sesshomaru sheepishly before she got the thoughtful expression on her face again.

" Will you my lord?"

He looked to the side again.

" Don't be foolish."

A snort interupted his reflections and he looked down at the twitching Rin. She appeared to be mumbling a bit and shifted so that her legs splayed out across the futon. He raised his eyebrow. As polite as any of the humans princesses in public, Rin always reverted to her open and fun loving self when she was assured of privacy. Sometimes that had rather interesting side effects. He closed his eyes. He really should get some rest if he was to be at full mental capacity in the morning and he didn't have to fully sleep to be able to get that rest. He stifled a cross between a sigh and a yawn as he stretched and relaxed his head backwords. He could discuss Rin's new placement in the court with her in the morning...

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I liberally sprinkle different ways of saying 'my lord' around in this fic. You can only say 'my lord' so many times before you want to grit your teeth. Thus why I include Sesshomaru-sama as an alternative although I generally keep the Japanese words for things out of the stories.

I've always had the impression that Rin would grow up to speak a bit formally. I also feel, personally, that while she would be rather aware of what and what not to do in public, that when she's in private with Sesshomaru she would be completely free to be herself. I tried to think of how the character of Sesshomaru would raise her and I imagine that she's pure physically (if not mentally, she HAS been spending a lot of time in a kitchen), and a bit naive about physical relationships though probably not in politics. I try to reflect this in my writing.


	3. Tremors

quothTheMaven got deleted and I'm missing her Sessh/Rin story something fierce

Sesshomaru's 'fluff' has a bit of debate over it. I personally think it's a part of his body (his tail) but the way he wears it while non-transformed makes 'boa' a more apt way to describe it. So I may call it boa but my heart is saying 'tail'.

My computer decided that it would be a good idea to put part of the fourth chapter where the third chapter was supposed to be. This is fixed now but I have to rewrite the fourth chapter to keep some from having an unfair preview. I'm not sure why my computer decided to do that (as I haven't had a chapter like that in weeks) but I'm going to lay the blame on it needing a OS reinstall.

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Rin awoke with a start. She was warm but there was something that was poking the inside of her nose. She pushed it away with her hand and opened her eyes to see what had caused it.

White fur

Her eyes went wide and she sat up straight. Looking dispassionately at her was Sesshomaru.

" Ah..." she blinked a few times. " I was asleep."

" I'm aware," he said dryly. " It is day now, you should go prepare."

She blinked. Prepare? Prepare for what? It didn't matter, he looked tired and she'd never disobeyed him. She'd seen how he acted with Jaken when he had to repeat himself and she'd never wanted to tempt her luck. She pushed herself to the edge of the bed and stood up, straightening her now rather open robe and running back to her own room via the tunnel.

Nice view 

He couldn't stop himself from thinking it. There were some things that even he couldn't deny.

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She brushed her hair furiously while berating herself.

_A fine thing to do, falling asleep next to him. No matter how nice it was, how warm and comforting and safe you felt it was shameful. You know he doesn't sleep well with people next to him. He was likely up the whole night because you wouldn't let him get rest. Now he's likely to be cranky_

She shuddered. She'd never been on the receiving end but she'd seen him be cranky with others.

_He looked absolutely haggard. Not that anyone but Jakken and I would notice but for him he was practically stuttering with sleep deprivation. Is this what you do to your lord_? 

" No," she whispered, putting the brush down firmly on her table. " I serve my lord and I do not distract him from his duties or let others use me as a tool to do so."

She picked up a hair ornament and tucked it in. Normally she wouldn't wear such things but Sesshomaru had said prepare and that usually meant some kind of formal occasion. She loved keeping her hair in a pigtail. Once she'd started working in the kitchen she'd discovered that it was far easier to bind all her hair up instead of just part of it and she'd secretly begun to call herself the Kitchen Samurai. That, however, was a secret that even Sesshomaru's prying wouldn't get out of her. Standing up she moved to the entry way and found the now dressed Sesshomaru waiting for her, yet another surprise of the morning. She wasn't entirely sure it was a pleasant one either.

Silence followed the two as they moved down the hallway with Sesshomaru in front and Rin a respectful distance behind.

_I hope he's not mad at me_

Her outfit's not travel wear. She'll have time to fix that I suppose 

Jakken met the both of them at the courtyard.

" My sire," he yelped running over, " we're almost ready to go." He gave Rin a look. One of many she'd seen over the years and this one translated into the 'what were you thinking' look. " Is that what you're wearing?"

" What," Rin asked quizzically, " is there something I should be wearing my lord?" She neatly turned her question from Jakken to Sesshomaru.

" Of course there is," Jakken exclaimed, glaring angrly at her now. " Those clothes are hardly travel suitable. You'll fall to pieces in moments."

Rin glanced between Sesshomaru and Jaken trying to concealing the excitement that wanted to bubble out but failing.

" Traveling? The borders or just the country side? Will there be meetings?"

Sesshomaru looked away and began walking towards his council chamber. He was obviously going to leave the explanation to Jakken.

Jakken, looking dejected as Sesshomaru walked away, sighed pitifully before turning back to Rin.

" What on earth happened last night? He looks as if he's had no sleep for days," he exclaimed angrily. " If you've awoken him with another bad dream," he left the rest unsaid, trying to be threatening but failing miserably when his tiny feet started tapping in agitation.

" I suppose I must have," she said, sinking to her knees. " He said he'd heard a noise in my room and came to check so when he left," she paused, stopping to consider including the warm body she'd felt next to hers but deciding against it, " I heard him and followed him into his room."

" You," Jakken exclaimed, enraged and scandalized, " followed our lord into his bedroom?"

_That's right you silly old man. I followed him in because I was sleepy and wanted to know what was happening_

" I wasn't..." she said. " I wasn't thinking clearly."

" Apparently not," Jakken snorted in disbelief. " Why our master continues to put up with you..." He left the rest hanging and started to hop down the steps towards Ah-Nun.

" Jakken, where are we going? What's going on?"

He turned, huffing and glaring up at her. " I should think it would be obvious! We're going out to wander Lord Sesshomaru's lands to let the lesser demons keep in mind his fearsome strength and beauty. For some reason you're coming with us again." He frowned at her and then turned away, mumbling under his breath, " It was so nice traveling with just Lord Sesshomaru again."

" Miss the alone time," Rin questioned, leaning over his shoulder and poking him in the cheek. " I bet you do. I bet Jakken wants to be all alone with our lord."

Jakken took a swipe at her knees with the staff while glaring at her. He straightened his robes and settled his cap firmly in the middle of his head. Rin giggled as he huffed off over to Ah-nun and started taking swipes at the small demons that were scurrying to load the travel bags.

" Just get changed into your travel gear, silly human girl," Jakken shouted over his shoulder at her, shaking the staff at her for emphasis.

" He says silly human," Rin muttered under her breath, " but then he calls me a kind and wonderful person when I let him have his pickles."

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Rin, despite her confusion, was very happy to be out and about with Sesshomaru again. She was far too excited to sit on Ah-nun for long once they'd left site of the compound and bounced up to Jakken.

He, however, was not as energetic or thrilled as she was and brushed her off with curt words and a few attempts to clock her with his staff. That left just Sesshomaru to take her energy out on.

_Is it appropriate that I do so_? 

She skipped up to his side and placed her hands behind her back. She gazed up at his blank face for a while before attempting to start conversation.

" So my lord," she tiptoed in front of him and started walking backwards, " where are we going?"

" On patrol."

" Well yes," she said, correcting her balance to avoid falling over an unexpected bump, " but what areas are we patrolling?"

" To the Northern border and then east to the ocean."

Rin couldn't contain her excitement and she ran ahead with her arms open. The ocean, the wonderful salty ocean with fish and birds and all that water. This really was a treat. She was so happy that he'd decided to bring her along.

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A few hours later saw the excitement died down and Rin asleep with her arms wrapped around Ah-nun's neck. Jakken sighed and took the reins that trailed on the ground. Ah-nun didn't need the guidance but it certainly helped that his hands were holding onto something. It helped keep him from being tempted to join Rin in sleep.

The days following passed by slowly. The summer heat and fine weather gave it the air of a stroll instead of a mission. The uneventful trip, however, had left Jakken and Rin restless. Rin had never missed the kitchen duties more and Jakken fretted constantly about whether his assistant would be able to handle the duties that needed to get done. They both fussed to the point where Sesshomaru had ordered them to go find something to do.

Jakken trudged along, tugging Ah-nun after him as Rin ran ahead. She hummed as she eagerly inspected every bush and shrub she came across for anything to help with dinner that evening. She'd been too far away to hear what the village women had been singing but the melody had been clear and it wasn't too hard for her to make up her own words for it. Brushing wayward hairs from her face as she nipped some leaves from a low growing herb she smiled back at Jakken. Best for him not to know she was even humming the tune. The last time she'd actually sung it in his presence he'd chased her around until he'd landed several good whacks onto her knees for 'using such an informal tone about their lord'.

Luck was with them. Theyd found a stream to fish out of and Jakken had, somehow, managed to find some honey in a nearby village's beehive. There'd likely be someone upset when they found an empty hive but walking along, swinging the fish on a string and trying to eat honeycomb without having it drip on them, that was far from their minds.

They were wandering through a field of low grass and bright flowers when they heard an explosion in the distance and looked up to see a plume of smoke rising above the tree line in the direction they had been headed.

" Lord Sesshomaru is fighting.," Jakken said, closing his eyes to slits and concentrating, " a band of humans. Possibly monks or maybe just villagers."

Rin looked at the ground and scuffed her feet. Frowning a little she looked up at Jakken. " Would it really be that bad if once, just once, Sesshmaru-sama went around something instead of insisting on going straight through? It's not like they'd know he was there."

Jakken stopped fussing her towards Ah-nun and stared slack jawed at her. " Lord Sesshomaru...go around?" His eyes closed completely and he bent over making clicking noises before letting his hilarious laughs out. " Lord Sesshomaru move, for humans, oh my my that's funny." He wiped his eyes and pointed the top of the staff at her. " You, Rin, know that these are our lord's lands and where he wants to go, he goes. The idea that he'd move at all from his course is simply," he paused, looking forthe right word, " absurd, that's right, absurd. Even if they didn't know he'd changed his course he would and that's showing consideration he wouldn't do for another powerful demon, much less you lowly humans."

Rin kicked him in the stomach and hopped on Ah-nuh who turned and walked from the fighting. Sesshomaru didn't like her to be nearby in case more humans saw her and, once again, assumed she'd been kidnapped. She hated having Jakken group her in with the people she saw. They, for the most part, were sweaty men with axes or hoes and she didn't have fond memories of grown men at all. The women, sure, she wished she could talk to them or get close to them and listen to what they said but that had been strictly forbidden. The only time she'd ever had a real conversation with another human female had been when her first periods had started and Sesshomaru had dumped her on his half-brothers doorstep for two weeks. Sesshomaru's half-brother might have acted quite a lot like Sesshomaru but his wife had been more then kind and taught her how to make her own pads and explained everything she could to her about what was happening. A wise choice as Sesshomaru had never taken her back and started leaving her at the then fledgling palace with no one for company but Jakken.

Another explosion echoed across the field and both she and Jakken turned to look.

" They're fighting quite fiercly for humans," Jakken commented, his eyes starting to dart about with worry.

" Go help him," Rin commented, tapping her foot on the top of his cap. " You know you want to, and besides they're probably below the worth of Sesshomaru fighting them. I'll be fine, I've got Ah-nun to protect me." Ah-nun made a rumbling noise in response and she stroked the scaled neck.

Jakken, needing no other urging, ran off towards the rising smoke. Rin smiled as she watched him until he blended into the grass and all one could see was the entwinned heads of his staff bobbing about.

She turned back to Ah-nun, who was looking at her, and slipped off. Winding the rather ceremonial reins around her hand she started to lead him further into the forest.

Rin felt the blast of heat a few heartbeats later and heard the small sound of Jakken cackling above the whooshing sound that the flames made. Looking back she saw Sesshomaru's pale shape outlined against the dark tree trunks on the other side of the field. Knowing Jakken, although she couldn't see him, he was probably dancing around enthused by his victory.

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Sesshomaru began to move foreword. He could, in a way, see the demonic aura that moved behind Rin. Mindless demons were drawn so strongly by the smell of human blood that they'd attack anything, stronger demon nearby or no.

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Rin heard the rumbling a few seconds before the explosion. The ground a few feet behind Ah-nun exploded, showering them both with dirt.

She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her hands behind her head as the force lifted her up and threw her. Rin hit the ground hard, feeling one of her knees go numb as something smacked into it hard. As soon as she stopped rolling she looked up.

Three demons scuttled towards her. Looking like perversly large insects, the main difference was the mouths. Acidic drool dripped and sizzled on the ground and large fused teeth ground against each other. And they were getting way to close. Rin turned and scrambled to her feet, running as quickly as she could. She snapped her head around as a snarl sounded at her back and found Ah-nun pinning one of the creatures, tearing at it's armor with the mouths and claws while the other two hesitated for a moment between chasing her and battling the new threat.

No time to waste, she turned and ran as fast as she could in the direction she'd last seen Sesshomaru. A flash of green whipped past her cheek and she felt a surge of relief. Sesshomaru's whip would handle anything.

A crushing weight fell on top of her and she barely had to cry out before she was smothered with the hard shell of the now dead monster. A brief moment of clarity before unconciousness took her was that her bones were breaking.

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His lips pressed into a thin line, the dark eyebrows pointed down and his eyes dangerously narrowed. The wind whipped around his body, stroking the hair from behind him into a long pale banner. In a smooth motion he seemed to appear before the newly dead creature and hacked it apart with his sword. Protective bones crunched and splintered under the suddenly vicious blows and dark blood bubbled out and sprayed the grass nearby. In a few moments there was a massive hole in the carcass and he reached his hand in to fish around and then pulled Rin's limp body through.

Gently holding her against him he lifted into the air. His boa moving and morphing into a substantial cloud and lifting them both into the air. Sesshomaru could hear Jaken yelling down below him and Ah-nun's concerned wuffing noises but the thing that concerned him the most at the moment was the limp and soft form that lay in his arms. Bones were broken, that was obvious from the way she handled. What he didn't like was the ever increasing fear that she was bleeding internally. That was hard to fix and time was essential. A few moments to get back to his palace in this form but would it be soon enough?

She was felled, in my presence, by minor demons 

Truthfully, none of the other demons would be too suprised. He couldn't, of course, be bothered with the smaller demons. The rumors that would circulate from him saving her at all would be the worst of it. A weakness like his father's would certainly be blamed and circulated. Rin was only a human and yet he exerted himself to save her. There would be whispers. Did he save her for love? Did he save her because she was a pet? Did he save her to save his face?

" My lord."

He looked down. Rin was looking up at him weakly. He kept his face impassive as she opened her mouth and worked it a little before

" I'm sorry." She coughed and he let his eyes narrow, that was not a good sign, " I apologize for causing you trouble."

She closed her eyes then and he landed deftly in the courtyard.


	4. Trip

Okay I'll admit it, I didn't rewrite the start of the chapter like I was going to because of the sneak peak. I'm lazy and it looks good and that's basically all there is too it. The editing attempts with quick edit and WordPad aren't going as well as I had hoped (damn!) so it doesn't look quite as nice once I get into it as it does on the computer. Everything in Italics are thoughts and the extra v's on either side are to keep the paragraphs from getting too squished together.

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Pleasure

The light sensation caused her to pull herself from the muddle of pain and focus on it. Long fingers were stroking across her scalp. The ache at the base of her skull was quickly being banished beneath the thrills that followed where the fingers went. Warm and gentle the fingers swept across her temple and stopped to lightly grip the back of her neck.

_Sesshomaru-sama?_

He smelled like the musky feral scent of the forest and it could only be him stroking her head if his scent was as strong as it was now. A dream, a very very nice dream.

She started to sink back into the embrace of slumber when the voices started.

Sesshomaru's voice sounded first and directly over her, confirming her guess that it was he who was touching her hair. Jakken's piercing voice came from a bit further away and as he fell silent Rin noticed the sounds of feet scampering across the floor and the sounds of pottery hitting flat surfaces and water being poured. She puzzled, had they been there a moment before or had they just started? As she puzzled over that she was startled as a cold damp cloth was put on her forehead. Frowning she opened her eyes slowly, blinking the stray water droplets from her eyelids, to find Sesshomaru's yellow ones looking straight into hers.

She froze. He continued to look at her calmly for a moment before raising his head and looking to his right.

" Jakken."

She heard rapid footsteps and turned her head in the direction Sesshomaru's was facing in time to see Jakken leap onto the edge of...

_My_?

...bed and scurry towards her. Behind him she caught glimpses of four smaller versions of Jakken running around with pitchers and containers.

" Rin," he put a tiny hand to her forehead and smoothed back her hair. She blinked up at him and tried to think. She knew that she'd been brought back to the castle but she had no idea how much time had passed since then. How injured was she?

" My lord," she began, finding that instead of her voice a raspy whisper came out instead. Her image of Sesshomaru began to skew wildly as her eyes struggled to stay open.

" Jakken," Sesshomaru said without bothering to look up, " go."

The amount of scampering footsteps told her that it wasn't only Jakken that had left the room. She closed her eyes gratefully as soon as they were gone. His hand resumed stroking the hair back from her forehead and she smiled briefly before falling asleep.

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Sesshomaru felt his mouth tighten into a deeper frown as he watched Rin's sleeping form. She'd been asleep for several days and her awakening was a good sign but even that much recovery had been difficult. The grizzled old demon he'd pulled in to heal her had frowned and shook his head when he'd caught site of her. After Sesshomaru's imposing presence had kept him from 'collecting' any samples he'd finally done the job he'd been summoned to do and informed Sesshomaru that Rin was seriously injured enough that he doubted that even he could fully restore her to a pristine specimen.

He let his hand rest on her forehead, her dark hair contrasting against his pale fingers. Reason after reason to detest humans popped up as Rin's healing took more and more time. They were so easily broken...

_That fools mother had been just as easily driven into death_

Of course it hadn't helped that his father had made her such a blatant target. Humans best defense was not to be a target in the first place. That was impossible for humans who associated with demons but Rin had been given the choice to leave years ago and still remained. She accepted the risks of being his retainer so he was not about to lecture her on them again when she awoke.

He absent mindedly resumed stroking her hair again as he pondered monsters who'd attacked her. Little more then pond scum to him they'd been able to inflict damage on her that even the most common villager would probably have been able to avoid. Perhaps he should consider sending her off to be trained in self defense. Now there was an idea his father hadn't had for that fools mother.

Sesshomaru twisted his head to face the door. " Jakken."

The small demon came scuttling around the door looking anxious. " More medicine my lord?"

" As soon as the roof is on the north wall I want a house built for me on the seashore." Sesshomaru turned his head to face the window to signal he was done.

Jakken shot a look from Rin's sleeping form to Sesshomaru's tall shadowy one. " The trip there, for Rin I mean, wasn't able to happen. A house so she might spend time there to recover?"

Sesshomaru stood up with a lithe grace and walked out of the room, casually kicking Jakken in the head with his foot as he walked by.

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The sound of pouring water roused Rin from her sleep. Blinking she turned her head over towards the noise and was greeted by the piercing light of a lantern. Shielding her eyes from the glare she tried to push herself into a sitting position and found her arms to wobbly to support her weight. Blinking until her eyes adjusted she saw the back of a richly dressed demon.

Of course it was assumed that any in her lords castle would be a demon but it was confirmed when the graceful flowing body turned to reveal a very pretty slitted eyes. Long dark hair that made Rin slightly envious rustled to the ground as the predatory courtesan smiled at her, revealing a mouth full of fangs as well.

" I see you are awake my lady," the courtesans voice was dusky and smooth. " I am sorry if I awakened you but I was instructed to keep keep your forehead cool." Another smile full of teeth was flashed in her direction.

Rin blinked as she took that information in for a moment and then moved her shielding hand up to her forehead to feel the now warm cloth on her forehead. Gritting her teeth she forced herself to sit up, grateful for the robe wrapped around her, and gave a low bow. " I'm afraid I don't know the name with which to thank you but I must."

" It is nothing," another smile, " but I must go tell Lord Jakken of your awakening for he wished to know." The briefest of bows and the courtesan was gone.

_She must have made Jakken angry. He knows how much the demons hate being around 'food' and then having to act as if I was their equal. A courteasian too! They hate me being in rooms so close to Lord Sesshomaru's_

She pondered it for a moment before her body demanded to lie down again and she slipped back underneath the blankets. How long had she been asleep?

Jakken's very loud footsteps into the room kept her from slipping completely back into slumber and she brought her eyes open in time to see him peek around the doorway into her room before entering the rest of the way.

" A fine mess you've made of my job," he huffed coming over and tapping his feet before giving a disgusted look at her and grabbing the cloth that was still in her hand. " Silly fool, didn't even change the cloth before she left." He made a disgusted noise and pattered over to the basin to dip it into. " She'll never get near Sesshomaru-sama like that," he pulled it out and wrung it almost dry. " Asleep for four days! I can't imagine how I'd get treated if I were that lazy." He sighed dramatically as he popped up onto the futon and put the cloth against her forehead.

She was surprised at how good the cold felt against her forehead. It hadn't seemed so hot before the cloth was on it...

" Four days?" She rasped out, her voice tired from her earlier exchange already. " Has it been so long?"

" Of course it's been that long. You gave Ah-nun quite a scare. Quite sure that our lord would have killed the poor thing for not protecting you. And only you," he said the last word with an infliction of deep disgust, " could get that seriously injured from a bunch of low level idiots. How you managed to survive until Lord Sesshomaru found you I have no idea."

Her lips thinned, her life before coming to them wasn't talked about. He took a look at her and then sighed as if a thousand burdens were upon him. " As soon as you can be moved you're going to that whelp and his human," he said. " Most of the demons around here are simply of the mind to eat you. It's best to avoid the temptation of some of the servants I think."

" InuYasha?" Rin asked, her brief anger dissipating at the idea of going to visit them again. It had been so nice to spend some time with another human girl and as gruff as InuYasha was he did remind her of Sesshomaru. " How long," she started to ask just as her voice rattled to a halt in her throat.

Jakken gave her a look of disgust as he smoothed the cloth down on her head and plopped to sit next to her. " Until you're healed of course. The last thing we need is an injured human woman smelling of blood and weakness when we have random visitors paying homage to our lord. They might think you managed to weasel out of a holding pen or something."

Rin smiled. Her presence did irk quite a few and she knew any number of the women who would be quite happy to devour her 'on accident'. " Sesshomaru-sama would save me," she stated in the same confident tone as she had when she was knee-high.

" Not when he's on the ocean border he wouldn't." Jakken hopped down and walked out out of the room leaving Rin to think.

_He went to the ocean without me. Well of course he did, he still has stuff to do even if you're being sick and silly in bed._

Her head hurt, her body hurt and Sesshomaru was off somewhere without her again. She felt tears well up in her eyes and shut them tightly. Being silly and crying wasn't going to help make her better. Once she was up and about she could be of use again.

" Humans," Jakken huffed. She opened her eyes to see him holding a tray in her doorway. " Must you indulge in such weak antics around me?" He used his feet to kick a low table from the corner of the room over to her bedside and placed the trey on it. A number of pots giving off steam and a small tea pot and two teacups were on it. " It's that rice you enjoy and some fish." His beaky mouth tightened into a firm line. " I'm fairly certain it's not poisoned."

Another advantage of her doing her own cooking. She struggled to a sitting position yet again and swung her legs of the edge of the bed. Jakken picked up a seating cushion larger then he was and stumbled across the room to put it down between her and the table. She sank to her knees and slowly picked up some chopsticks. " Why aren't any of the your servants doing this?" Her voice was still rough but at least she could speak again.

" Our lord told me to look after you specifically. That toothy wench that was in here was covering me so that I might eat. I do have to eat you know," he shot her a glare. She smiled at him and he pointed a finger at her and then whisked the tea cup over poured a bit for her and then for himself. He sighed in pleasure as he took a sip. " I'll say this, as annoying as you are you may be the only other one in the palace who serves Sesshomaru for the glorious being that he is and not out of fear." He stabbed a finger at her quickly. " Not that he doesn't deserve to be feared, especially by you."

" Thank you," she managed as she maneuvered to get a lump of fish to her mouth. Rin swallowed it despite it's overly crisp exterior.

" Heh," Jakken snorted. " I'm getting soft in my old age. I should be advising our lord to leave you to the whims of his court, not arranging to get you to the whelp."

" When?" Rin stopped to cough, deciding to keep the words to the minimum.

" Well your bones were healed by that disgusting old man," Jakken said, taking long drinks of his tea between words, " but your weak insides are apparently still going to need long healing according to him. You'll be moved the day after tomorrow now that you're awake. We're sending the whelp a notice that you're coming and getting your stuff ready to move since we don't know how long you'll be. Ah it'll be nice to have a place to myself again."

Rin's eyes filled with tears involuntarily. She was so damned emotional and she didn't know why. Jakken set his tea cup firmly on the table and rolled his eyes. " Lord Sesshomaru has no patience for such weak human emotions and this is yet another reason to make sure you're not in his presence until you're healed again." He stood up. " It's no use trying to get even the usual half-way intelligent conversation out of you. I suggest you eat what I've graciously made you and then rest until you're ready to go." He left her sitting on the floor and eyeing the edge of the bed and wondering if she'd be able to get back into it on her own.

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A great deal of thanks to Dejana Talis and Cookirini for putting up with my ranting about this story lately. It really **was** supposed to be a one shot smut fest.


	5. Rest

This fic, I should mention, does make some references to the other fic I wrote (Last Battle) about InuYasha. It's not crucial that you read it to understand this one but I'm just warning you now where the weird stuff that pops up comes from.

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Sesshomaru watched from his window as the coach along the side of the building was prepared and loaded. A few moments were all it took before Rin was, bundled and wrapped, ushered from the side entrance and into the bed set up inside. The coach was quite similar to the one he'd fooled his brother with with the only real difference being that Ah-nun would be pulling it.

He wasn't so foolish as to think this departure would go unnoticed. He was aware of multiple presences in the shadows that were eyeing and analyzing this event. That is what the smarter demons did of course, analyzed every situation and weighed what the benefits that they could reap from each possible course of action. There were several rumors going around that Jakken had informed him of and he hadn't bothered to disperse. The first being that Rin no longer interested him in her injured state and instead of simply killing her he was showing that weak willed compassion and sending her away. Others suggested, rightly, that he was sending her to be healed while countless more were formed from variants of those.

He refused to move from his window. Let them see him, it would decrease the likelihood that they'd try to take advantage of the almost unguarded human girl. Either his presence had been noted or they were far more cautious then he gave them credit for for as the carriage rose into the air and away under the pale light cast by the moon nothing attacked. He continued to look up at the moon long after the carriage had gone out of sight.

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Rin arrived in a small clearing and peaked through the curtains. The small versions of Jakken, hand picked by him, set about opening up the curtains, un-harnessing Ah-nun and lifting her into a seated position. She'd rather have just been left with her and Ah-nun but taking care of him was impossible in her current state. She'd discovered that her bones might have healed but her insides still felt oddly liquidy and she ran out of energy often. Jakken had informed her that the grizzled demon who'd healed her hadn't expended any of his own vast amounts of energy, he'd simply drawn her own to heal the bones. Energy she hadn't had to spare and was now trying to earn back as well as finish healing. Sesshomaru had apparently, this part was explained with great vigor, neatly decapitated him for being so foolish.

She couldn't really focus on that though, most of her energy was spent trying to think of a way to apologize properly to Jakken. He'd stormed into her rooms in a huff and woke her up with a number of almost but not quite slamming of the trey on the table. He'd glared at her when she'd asked why he'd been so covered in bruises. Finally he'd turned on her.

" You! You fell asleep next to the table. Sesshomaru-sama came into the room when I told him you'd awakened and he found you in a pile on the floor. The floor! You were put right back in bed might I add, but falling asleep on the floor? What were you thinking?" His tone was grouchy all the way through until the very end when it turned almost pleading.

" I'm so sorry," she'd managed to whisper. Well that was an improvement, she could whisper now instead of rasp. He'd flomped off and informed her he wasn't ready to forgive her.

Rin was pulled out of her musings by Ah-nun's growl. She peered out in time to see a silver haired figure step from forest and head straight for them. InuYasha stopped a short distance away from them and holding an odd metal configuration.

" You going to let me come get you or do I have to beat up your pet?" He had a hand on his hip and the other suggestively placed on the hilt of his sword.

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He sat on his patio overlooking the courtyard. Another attack on his palace, this time by a handful of monks. He'd known that they would rally when such a 'pit of demons' showed up but he was getting quite out of patience with the repeated assaults on his home. It had been years and they'd yet to give up and he was quite tired of splashing that smelly human blood around.

She'd never shown a problem with him killing other humans. True it'd always been in self defense but he had been slightly surprised that she'd been so calm about it when he'd come back smelling of blood to high heavens.

His eyes narrowed as did his mouth as he contemplated the tea in the cup before him.

" My lord?" The lovely courtesan with the cat eyes and full lips smiled up while holding up a tea pot questioningly. Jakken had told him of this one, one of the more stubborn spreader of rumors and someone who'd often tried to slip into Sesshomaru's rooms to wait for him there.

" No," he turned his head away from her. " You're not needed here any longer." Why tolerate someone who would not follow his laws? Why deal with a jealous female at all?

" My lord," she bowed low before straightening up again. " Will you require me...in any form this evening?" She licked her lips suggestively.

" I will not require you ever again. Leave." He turned his cold yellow eyes on her in time to see hers narrow with anger.

" My...lord?" Her eyes were dangerously narrowed and it was far too easy to tell what she was thinking. It was too bad she hadn't just left when he'd told her to, now he knew she'd try to cause more distractions and trouble once she'd left the castle. He leaned foreword.

" I will no longer require your services," he said slowly and clearly before standing up and tossing the heart he'd ripped from her chest into the garden. He stood up and walked away as the body slid limply to the ground.

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Rin had hobbled outside to sit with Ah-nun that evening. The short walk still tired her greatly but she took heart in the fact that she could walk at all. She was enjoying her time with Sesshomaru's younger brother but being introverted seemed to run in his family and Kagome seemed to enjoy talking to Rin almost as much as Rin enjoyed talking to her. Rin stroked Ah-nun's side gently and closed her eyes, if she concentrated she could almost imagine she was having a quiet evening at home...

" Rin," Kagome's voice came out of the dusk behind her, " do you mind if I join you?"

" Please," Rin patted the ground next to her and Ah-nun made pleased growling sounds in it's throats as Kagome settled herself.

" Are you feeling better?" Kagome reached out with her left hand and scratched Ah-nun's flank.

" Yes, quite a bit actually. I still get tired though." Rin always looked at Kagome as a sort of opposite of Sesshomaru. She was human, she was open and free with her emotions and having her right arm partially gone seemed to cement that image for her. " I am getting hungry more often then I used to."

" That's a good sign." Kagome patted Rin's leg and then looked out at the purple and pink sky that was settled over the now dark woods. " Missing Sesshomaru?"

" Yes," Rin said after a moment, " I always miss him when he's gone, but this time seems harder."

" I can imagine." Kagome was quiet for a few more moments, letting the crickets chirp. " You're in love with him aren't you?"

This time it was Rin's turn to be quiet and she let it stretch out for more then a few moments before she flopped backwards onto the grass. " Yes."

" You're sure that's what you want?"

Rin smiled, turning her head to look at Kagome's silhouette. " Did you want to be in love with InuYasha?"

" Oh good god no," Kagome laughed and leaned back on her hand, looking up at the night sky. " I was absolutely horrified when I discovered I was." She sighed heavily. " Truth be told I was thrilled a little. I'd wanted to all along but I also thought I wanted to live an ordinary life more then anything."

Rin mulled over this before replying. " When I was younger I wanted, just a little, to live in a village with other people. I wanted it very much. My lord gave me many chances to leave, many chances to go and live with regular people. I think it was those chances that made me realize how much I didn't want to leave him." She sat up again, brushing off her back before continuing. " It was those times that helped me realize just how much I wanted to be with my lord."

" You've thought about this." Kagome stated it more as a fact then a question but Rin nodded into the dark anyway.

" There was always time to think about it. Sesshomaru-sama always made sure I was cared for. He'd tell me to go off and find my own food but he always had us near a place where it was easy to get it. If he couldn't do that then he'd have Jakken do it. Jakken hated having Sesshomaru say 'I do not want to be kept up all night by a growling stomach'." Rin laughed. " My lord was always very caring and he was always very patient."

" He doesn't come off that way," Kagome pointed out thoughtfully.

" No," Rin's voice took on an edge of sadness, " I suppose he doesn't. It's only because I've been with him so very long that I can even tell when he's happy or not and he's got to be that way because emotions in demons are considered a weakness."

" I can see why he always thought InuYasha was weak then," Kagome stated. " He's a giant seething pot of them at the best of times."

" Yes," Rin stated slowly, a little shyly, " but he doesn't think so anymore."

" That's good," Kagome said. " That could help keep some possible problems at bay. I imagine it's harder being in love with Sesshomaru then it would be to be in love with InuYasha though."

" I think you might be right," Rin positioned herself so that she could lean up against Ah-nun's side, yawning a bit before continuing. " InuYasha is everything I wish Sesshomaru would open himself up to being."

" I think he might disown you if he heard you say that," Kagome pointed out.

" Probably," Rin smiled sleepily at the thought.

" I think you should get inside before I have to have InuYasha carry you inside."

" You're right," Rin mumbled, pushing herself slowly to her feet with Ah-nun's help and shuffling slowly back towards her small hut. It had been such a nice surprise when InuYasha'd carried her out to see it.

" When you get better kid you can have a little more privacy."

She thought, a little sleepily, that he was probably half and half on getting some of his own back along with giving her some.


	6. Sadly

Sesshomaru's normally disdainful demenior had frayed visably with Rin's absence. Jakken was thankful that most of the courters attributed the sudden inreases in decapitations to the increased amount of time Sesshomaru actually spent in the castle.

Sesshomaru sat on a porch, a small cup of tea near him, and wondered about the burning emotion he was feeling in his chest. He studied it, analysized it, contemplated it and still it wouldn't give up what it was.

_A combination of many others perhaps? Anger is there, I feel it smoldering in my chest but it holds others as well._

Perhaps...lust? He would not contemplate love but lust was something more understandable, more open to thought. Humans and demons were compatable physically, sexually, it'd been proven time and again.

A lust for her.

He could accept that it was there. He aknowledged it, felt the slight increase in pressure in his chest as it seemed to grow stronger and throttled it down again. So now he could not deny the fact that he had feelings of desire. Not only to posses her body against his but to protect her from harm and cradle her against him. The desire to feel her need him in her life. She depended on him in a trusting way so filled with passion and sweetness that he could not admit it to himself unless he was willing to accept the fact that he was likely to hold her and never let her go. He wanted both to tumble with her in his sheets and to walk with her through the rain. He wanted to have her stroke his hair and temples and other parts besides. He wanted, with a deep feral passion, to feel her skin under his hand and to nuzzle and cuddle and comfort.

_Is this what father felt for that whelp's mother? Is this strange desire what he could not resist?_

He wanted desperatly to ignore those around him and indulge but more then anything that had to be pushed away.

He got up and stalked across the bridge in the garden. It was easier to escape these thoughts when she was here, a solid form whom he could easily avoid and those troubling thoughts with her. He was finding that now the thoughts lurked around every corner, popped up with every whispered rumor. The ladies who pawed cautiously at him didn't even begin to arouse any desire anymore. There was no freedom in their movements, only calculation. He had enough of that for many people and was sick of it surrounding him.

" Jakken," he swiftly moved up behind the small demon in the kitchen. " When will the ocean house be ready?"

Jakken stared up at him. They'd just started on it less then two weeks ago. Even with the strength and skill of many demons it would take at least a month to get ready even the most barely habitable of houses for his lord.

" You should be able to visit in a two weeks or so my lord, and it should be fully done in another six."

" That," Sesshomaru said with no hint of emotion in his voice, " is not acceptable. It will be ready sooner or I will be displeased."

" Of course my lord," Jakken bowed low as Sesshomaru dissapeared around the curve of a hallway.

_Hmmph! I suppose next I'll have to make Rin show up whole and healthy too_

Aggitated, Sesshomaru stalked the halls of the palace, sending any in his path scattering for safety. Once the thoughts had slid out of control there was no way to simply ignore them. He desired to protect Rin and he'd failed. He desired other...things that he could not give in to. Simply impossible unless he wanted to view his father's history and ignore it.

_Those that ignore the past are doomed to repeat it_

He stepped into his rooms and retreated to his sleeping chamber. There had to be some kind of deficency that his father had passed to him or he would never feel these things for something like a human. They disgusted him. They used to disgust him, he admitted to himself, and most of them still did. The fact of the matter was that at this point he only felt his old disgust for those who acted like the monsters that prowled the forest, little better then beasts. No pride, no honor, no civility at all.

The rage of the past had been set aside and he wasn't sure when it had happened. He had hadn't been acting on the urges it caused quite as much when Rin showed up and the battle with Naraku started but that was simple logic. Being ruled by your emotions around people who couldn't handle them and when those who would strike were watching for weakness was insane and invited nothing but trouble. No, sometime in the past years the emotion had mostly gone from him. He didn't have quite the wanderlust, the desire for power, the need to prove his superiority. He was confident with himself.

No, what drove him mad now was the fact that he wanted something that he couldn't have. InuYasha's sword had never been his, would never have consented to being his, but this was different. Rin had, in a sense, been 'his' since she had started traveling with him. Yet here in his own house, where his way was law, she was his charge and servant and could be nothing more.

He mentally shook his head. Rin was quite obvious in how she felt about him but, unlike his younger brother's wench, had the good sense to keep it completely hidden in even the possible presence of others. That did not make this sudden aknowledgment of things he'd kept safetly submerged any easier.

_I need something to distract me, to keep me from thinking about this. If I continue down this path it is only a matter of time before I convince myself to do something truely foolhardy _

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Rin glanced nervously around the hanging scroll that blocked Kagome's doorway. In the distance InuYasha stood with a bunch of strangers that had come marching in carrying swords and shields. Rin had retreated quietly back into the hut at Kagome's urging but had peeked immediately. Kagome stood off to the side, talking to someone who was obviously a priestess but she turned as InuYasha grew really agitated and stalked off into the village.

Rin narrowed her eyes. Something was wrong, really wrong. Men well equipped with swords and priestesses in their ranks as well, the way they appeared to have deferred to InuYasha and the way Kagome kept glancing back towards her hut all added up to something brewing. The feeling in the air caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise.

Kagome said something, gesturing towards the temple that had been built near to the God Tree and the strange priestess bowed and called forth a few more, younger, priestesses from the group that had been around InuYasha. They talked to Kagome for a few more moments before they and the men headed in that direction.

Kagome walked slowly back towards where Rin waited. Slipping quietly past the screen Rin met her halfway.

" Something's wrong Kagome," she put her hand on one of Kagome's shoulders and forced their eyes to meet, " I don't need to be a priestess to tell that where there's war armor and priestesses there's something that involves demons."

Kagome brought her hand up to rub the bridge of her nose for a moment. " I think you'd best sit down inside for awhile Rin, and I'll let you know what those people have brought to our doorstep."

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Sorry about such a short chapter. Will try to do longer ones on the next few to make up for it.


	7. Anxiety

I replaced the note in the chapter six section with an actual chapter. Please be sure to read that first in case you missed it.

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The large room felt crowded with all the bodies pressed into it. Sesshomaru gazed at them all calmly before reaching out a hand smoothing and placing a finger on the map that was splayed out in front of him.

" The humans are amassing here?" He turned his gaze too a rat demon who's eyes glittered at the recognition.

" Yes my lord," the voice was surprisingly mellow, " right here. Armor, weapons of fine quality and priestesses in war readiness. There's no doubt they're planning on attacking this place."

Sesshomaru rested his hand on this thigh and pursed his lips slightly. " If we know they're there then they know that we do."

" My lord?"

" Jakken." Sesshomaru turned as the small demon came scurrying into the room. " Prepare a spy. I wish to know their true intent and I wish to know they're abilities."

A fist came down on the floor across the room. " Foolishness," a heavily armored demon snarled, " we should attack now before they bring in reinforcements. A small force of..."

As the head rolled across the tatami mats, Sesshomaru stood up from his low stool. " That is not their main force." His eyes glided across the careful neutral faces of everyone there. " As much as we mock them the priestesses may be a force to reckon with. It is in all of your best interests to know everything as you," he made eye contact with a few of them, " will be the ones facing them in battle."

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Rin pulled her robes tighter around her as she shivered against the night air. She peeked around the edge of the hut and, seeing no one, ran as lightly as possible across the clearing and into the woods towards where Ah-nun waited.

_Sesshomaru-sama, I'm coming_

She stopped, breathing heavily, as Ah-nun raised it's heads and blinked at her. She was much better but that sprint had still managed to knock the air out of her quite thoroughly. She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms as far around Ah-nun as she could reach.

" So where do you think you're going?"

She spun at the noise, her reaction to pinpoint the sound immediately. A flash of white.

InuYasha leaned against a nearby tree. " Going to run off to my brother and save him?"

" Of course not," she caught herself and forced herself into taking deep ordered breaths. " I just thought..."

" Thought what," InuYasha looked at her, his eyes not unkind but certainly holding steel in them. " That somehow being with him will make everything better?"

" He's going to be in a battle," she looked up at him as he walked towards her. " I just want to support him."

InuYasha flumped cross-legged on the ground in front of her. " Support him in killing humans? Is that really okay with you?"

Rin grimaced. " He never kills anyone who doesn't attack him first," she said staunchly. " He's never gone out of his way to kill humans."

InuYasha sat still for a moment before replying. " Sure, he only kills in defense...but they're still human. Do you abandon them so easily?"

" Did they care for me half so much as Sesshomaru has done? Should I weep for those who wouldn't and didn't weep for me?"

He leaned back with a cocky grin on his face. " Heh. You're too much like Kagome for me to argue with you and think I'll win. The point I'm trying to make," he leaned foreword again, " is that you are a liability and your presence will only serve to make a bad situation worse."

" But I..."

" Are a human. A human in a place full of demons when Sesshomaru is distracted, gone most of the time, and during a ripe time for an 'assassin' to sneak in and get you. That isn't even mentioning the fact that these humans would grab you in a heartbeat and try to use you against my brother."

" But my lord," she started.

" Could do nothing without losing everything. Then, when they find they can't use you they're more then likely to kill you for defiling yourself by associating with a demon."

Rin bit her lip as she twisted her fingers together. " I cannot go and support him but I surely can't stay here. It's no big secret who I am among the villagers and it's only a matter of time before the army..."

" I," InuYasha stated, " have already gotten that figured out."

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Sesshomaru sat in his bedchamber during a now rare moment of peace. He heard the footsteps long before the knocking on the wall just outside the entrance to his rooms announced Jakken's presence.

" Enter." This should be one less wait off his shoulders. Jakken should have Rin on her way to the partially completed ocean retreat and safely out of the way of any humans or demons who would see this as an opportunity to take advantage of his distraction.

" My lord," Jakken bounced from foot to foot nervously, " please forgive me I..."

" What Jakken," Seshhomaru interrupted in a smooth tone, " is it that you want to tell me?"

" Rin my lord! I couldn't find her! Your brother said he'd sent her into hiding and he wouldn't tell me where," his eyes shone with tears, " please my lord, I couldn't get him to talk. He..."

" Has interfered for the last time," Sesshomaru interrupted again, standing up and stalking past the startled Jakken and out the door.

" My lord! I will come..." Jakken rushed out the door but trailed off as he looked in both directions and saw no one.

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" You've got a visitor," Kagome announced from where she was stirring rice on the stove.

InuYasha was sitting against the wall, fiddling with a handle for a regular sword. " Yheah, he's not even trying to hide. Dumb, he should know that there's an encampment not far from here that wants his head on a platter."

The door slid smoothing open and Sesshomaru stepped inside.

" Yo," InuYasha flashed a wave at his brother.

" You will tell me where she is if you wish to live."

InuYasha scowled at him. " You really aren't a very polite guy. You ignore my wife and you make death threats when you walk into someone elses home. Jeez."

" You will tell me **now**."

" She safe."

Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles. " That is not a suitable answer."

" Both of you," Kagome stepped between the two of them, " calm down. InuYasha you may not like your brother but Rin isn't yours to decide when to divulge information." She fixed him with a glare before turning to Sesshomaru. " Can I get you some tea while we discuss this topic?"

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A dark shape hiding in the bushes and small tree's nearby was joined by another one.

" He's in the house?"

" Yes my lord, we saw him enter a while ago."

The soft noise of a hand rubbing leather. " A pity we cannot attack him now and end this before it starts..."

" My lord?"

The taller of the dark bodies straightened. " It would be suicide to attack him as we are. No, keep an eye on InuYasha. The odds are good that he's here to seek out his brother's aid. If that's the case we'll kill InuYasha but if not then we need to keep trying to get him to join us. Keep watch and see if you can figure out what's going on here."

" Yes my lord."


	8. Plans

I apologize for the late chapter, we had an 'interference' in our 'area' with out 'internet service'. -- I love Bell.

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Rin glanced about nervously. The cave walls were dingy and stained with smoke and the floor was littered with bones and straw. This level of dirt was something she hadn't been exposed to since before she'd joined Sesshomaru and it made her a bit nervous. What kind of bugs were hiding underneath all this rubbish?

" You going to be okay here girl?"

She turned to face Kouga. He was leaning against one of the walls and had his arms crossed. " Oh yes, I just...ah...was looking." She plastered a grin on her face.

" I know it's filthy but we haven't really had a reason to clean it until now. Ayame says she'll be down in a little while with some others to help clear stuff out and tidy it up for you though. Kagome said you'd been sick recently," he said that last bit as a question.

" Yes," she looked at the floor, " I wasn't quick enough to get out of the way and a demon fell on me."

" Heh," he laughed as he pushed himself away from the wall, " yheah that would do it. Listen, InuYasha told me that wolves make you nervous and I know..."

" Oh it's alright," Rin interjected quickly, " it's nothing anymore, really."

" Nah, I know those sort of fears affect humans for a long time. I just wanted to promise you we'll be on our best behavior." He snorted, crossing his arms and looking to the side. " Ayame's beaten that into the whole pack so you'll know they'll do it."

" Thank you, I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

" Now," Kouga leaned foreword, " you can come and tell the pack about that Sesshomaru guy."

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" You put her with a pack of wolf demons?" Sesshomaru's voice was toneless but the chill in the air indicated his disapproval. " Even you are above such...vermin."

Kagome glanced between the two of them and sighed internally.

_I guess dog and wolf demons just don't get along at all..._

She got up and went to sit next to InuYasha.

" Sesshomaru," she looked him square in the face, " we both know you worry about Rin's safety but the fact of the matter is that anywhere you're likely to put her will be found out eventually. Either by the human's out there," she waved to the wall of the house, " or by demons in your own household who see her as a threat or a dishonor. Either way there's risks. We've put her with friends..."

InuYasha snorted.

"...friends," she repeated shooting him a dirty look, " who can take care of and protect her quite well."

" That is not for you to decide," Sesshomaru interjected. " I asked that you look after her while she was ill but that did not give you the right to make other desicions." He stood up and headed for the door. " I will go retrieve her."

" And where will you put her?" InuYasha stood up and headed for Sesshomaru. " Will you put her at that ocean side place you're building? Oh, surprised I'd heard about that place? Well it's no secret, in fact it's well known. How are you going to protect her from without and within at the same time?"

Sesshomaru fixed InuYasha with a cold look. " I will handle it myself."

" Please, Sesshomaru," Kagome came to stand by InuYasha, " we both care for Rin as well. I'm sorry we didn't consulte you first but there was no time. There's a war party camped near here and if they found out..."

His eyes narrowed and Kagome cut herself off. Sesshomaru gazed steely at both of them for several long moments before turning and walking out the door.

" Wow, that was probably the most love filled moment ever for you two huh?" Kagome went back to the table and sat down.

InuYasha snorted. " I'm all gushy inside."

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" Commander!"

The human sitting at a low table looked up.

" Report," he snapped at the young man who had rushed up out of breath.

" InuYasha has not joined his brother but the young woman who was staying with them got taken away by a small band of demons."

" An attack?"

" No, she took some things with her."

The man scowled, his eyes narrowing and exposing deep frown lines. " There's more here then I'd thought. See what you can find out who she was."

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Rin sat with her legs tucked beneath her on a pile of straw. All around her wolves and demons were moving and it made her distinctly nervous. Sesshomaru didn't have any wolf demons on retainer at his castle...

" So?" Rin's vision was obscured by a bright eyed woman who plunked herself down in front of her. " Cave cleans up pretty nice doesn't it? I swear though, men wouldn't touch water if they didn't have to drink it."

" It is a wonderful place my lady, thank you so much for keeping me here."

" My lady?" Ayame blinked at Rin in surprise for a few moments. " Oh that's not needed, you can call me by name. Now you don't need to be so nervous, we don't eat humans anymore. Plus you're a very nice young lady. Quite a few of the men over there have been eying you."

Rin glanced over at where a number of very young men were casting glances at her. " I know..."

Ayame took a look at her and then leaned foreword. " It's not those whelps who're making you nervous so what is?"

" Ah," Rin glanced around looking for an escape. " I mean it's just...um...I'm afraid wolves make me nervous." She looked sheepishly at Ayame.

" Why? Something happen?"

" I was..." Rin's eyes darted across the pack, " I was killed by wolves once."

" Killed by wolves?" Ayame left a lot of her questions hanging in the air.

" It was just after I met my lord Sesshomaru and I..." she stopped for a moment. " My village was attacked by bandits you see and then wolves came while I was running...Jakken says that Sesshomaru-sama brought me back from the land of the dead."

" Hmmm," Ayame rocked back and contemplated Rin for a few moments. " I think it might be best, when you tell the pack about Sesshomaru, that you leave that part out."

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Sesshomaru listened with a mixture of annoyance and grudging respect as one of his generals informed him of the death of one of his allies. It sounded, to his ears, far too much like a trap. A draw, a lure to bring him in. Human alliances, he knew, were such where they often attacked to avenge the death of one. Such foolishness was left out of demon alliances though. If he couldn't survive he didn't deserve to live and any of his retainers worth keeping would already be on their way to serve him.

He sat back to think. He wasn't troubled by any friendship with Ryou-ni but the fact that he'd been destroyed suggested that the humans were stronger then even he had suspected. Ryou had been a significant fighting force, not someone easily taken down. His loss would be a small blow to Sesshomaru's plan.

" The humans seek to draw us in,." His hand waved over the map, seeking and finding a spot near Ryou's death that had a large camp of humans. ", their goal is to start a conflict on their own terms."

A boar demon stepped foreword. " My lord we cannot stop a retaliation by the lesser demons. They will not sit by and let revenge slip from them."

" Slip from them?" Sesshomaru's cold golden eyes slid up to meet the boar's. " They would have their revenge ten fold if they were any better then fodder. No, their pointless deaths are fine as long as they don't cause the humans to attack before we want them to."


	9. Movement

Quick note: I'm having difficulty recalling if the mohawk friend of Kouga's is Ginta or not but for until I can get that clarified he's going with it.

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Rin peered around the boulder. She wanted to leave the cave, even just for a few moments, but the entrance was full of wolves and demons. She sighed.

Guess not today either... 

" Looking for somebody?"

Rin startled. Looking over her shoulder was what appeared to be an adult wolf demon with shoulder length blond hair.

" No, not really..." She trailed off.

" Wanted to get outside huh?"

Rin eyed him. This was a wolf demon...he couldn't possibly be as innocent as he looked but at the same time...

" Just for a little bit." She straightened up a bit. " I'm Rin, I don't believe I've met you before," she trailed off, making it a question.

" Oh I think we have," his eyes twinkled merrily. " I'm Ginta."

She looked blankly at him for a few moments, her forehead creasing as she searched her memory. " Ginta..."

He deflated a bit. " I met you when you were much younger," he started to explain, " and I had less hair. I had a streak of it down my head and it was all sticking up like this." He pushed his hair together with his hands so it stood up.

" Ah, I think I remember you," Rin said, clapping her hands together. " You were with that other fellow...at the river?"

" Yes," Ginta looked pleased. " That was a stressful time."

" Why," Rin asked quizzically.

" Oh, we were just afraid Kouga would pick a fight with Sesshomaru..." he looked off to the side. " Or that..well...you know."

Rin just looked at him.

" Well, it's just...yheah. We got told by our wolves that they'd attacked you and we thought you would tell..."

" You...were the ones..." Rin looked at him blankly for a minute. Ginta looked at her nervously, this wasn't heading in a good direction.

" Thank you for your time," Rin turned and walked toward the entrance. Another demon got up to go with her but she said something and he settled back down.

Jumping slightly at the arm that dropped down on his shoulder, Ginta looked over to see Kouga looking off in the direction that Rin had taken. The wolf demon's face looked strangely blank and Ginta shivered with an ominous feeling of anticipation.

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Sesshomaru watched impassively as the plain in front of him filled with armored figures. Priestesses protected by groups of heavily armored warriors marched out toward him. Clearly the forces were more then that of a single warlord.

Several must have banded together when they learned I was building an empire 

Standing in front of a host of demons he impassively viewed the building force in front of him. Even confronted with the impressive man power he knew that he could have dealt with them all eventually except for the one factor.

Priestesses.

There were likely monks in there as well, but they were less visible. The flowing white and red of the shrine maidens however...those stood out. Easy targets they might seem but one well trained one could probably pick off a horde of demons before being overwhelmed. Add the escort around her and this would be a costly battle for both sides.

He narrowed his eyes. Cost did not, would not, concern him.

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Rin started running for the trees before even realizing why. Around her the whistling noise grew louder before it became intermixed with the yelps of the injured and the sharp ping of metal nicking stone. A sharp pain in her hip caused her to falter and trip and she fell hard. Without even pausing she tucked into a roll, biting her lip enough to bleed as she felt a shaft enter deeper into her hip before angling back and snapping.

Fire...my hip is on fire... 

She continued her roll, there was no way she could get into the trees cover on her feet. Deep thunks told her that arrows were whizzing into the soul near her head. She kept a desperate eye on the tree line so close...so temptingly close.

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Kouga's immediate concern was finding the archers and destroying them. He ran up the mountain side in bounds, intent on the area where the arrows were taking to the sky. Avoiding getting shot by leaping out of the way at the last second he grew angrier with each step, almost reach full rage when suddenly he smelled blood.

Human blood.

Behind me? 

Kouga looked over his shoulder and scanned the ledge below. The bodies of his fallen comrades and...there...the human girl was rolling toward the trees as arrows fell thickly around her, leaving a trail of blood.

A sound of frustration welled up in his throat. " Great, just fucking great." He ran downhill for her. " InuYasha's always giving us fucking trouble."

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Rin panted heavily. Her heart felt like it was trying to crawl out her mouth and she could barely hear the zing of arrows or yells of the injured past it's pounding. The pain in her leg throbbed, demanding her attention.

Sesshomaru-sama... 

A rough hand pulled her up, jarring her leg so badly she lost her breath.

" Get up, we're getting out of here."

She blinked back tears of pain and found Kouga slinging her over his back.

" You have to treat a girl gently," a soft voice commented from behind them.

Who? 

A moment of light and an agonizing pressure on her wound caused a moment of the purest pain Rin had ever known before she gave into the blackness that coated the edge of her vision

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	10. Memories

Working out the cliffhanger. Have some fluff while you wait.

It was noon and Sesshomaru had called a stop to the ever constant pace so that Rin could sit in one place. She gazed up at him admiringly.

_My lord was so much taller_

" Rin."

" Yes?"

" You may do as you wish."

" Yes my lord."

_...back then..._

Sesshomaru sat on a boulder nearby and watched Rin with silent eyes as she went around the nearby area and explored it. Eventually she returned to him with a bunch of branches that bore tiny flowers.

" For my lord," she said, holding them out in front of her.

He took them silently. His eyes fell to them and then raised up to her face. " They are acceptable."

She beamed up at him and Jakken muttered something unkind behind her.

_He always could make me so happy with so few words _

She sat down heavily next to him and started kicking her feet in the dirt and looking up at his hair. It was so different then the hair of anyone else, except for his brother's. She wanted to run her fingers through it and see if it was as soft and fluffy as it looked.

She bit her lip and fiddled with her sash. No one touched lord Sesshomaru's hair. Ever. Jakken would surely give her a bump if she even expressed her desire to. Rin looked down at her hands and sighed.

Something white drifted just at the edge of her vision and she looked up. Sesshomaru was looking at her, his eyes pale as always but he had shifted over and allowed some of his hair to lie on her lap.

" Once."

" My lord she is but a dirty human," Jakken interjected, scrambling foreword. " She would surely..." he trailed off as Sesshomaru's eyes turned to him for a single freezing second.

Rin continued to gaze up at him questioningly for a few long moments.

" I was mistaken?"

" No my lord," Rin scrambled, realizing her chance was quite literally about to slip from her fingers. She patted her hands on the edge of her lap to knock off any dirt from the flowers and reverently placed her small hands on his hair.

_It was so much softer then I thought it would be_

Rin smoothed the hair out over her lap, taking extra care to arrange the ends, excited over the feel of his hair. Her small fingers patted tentatively at first but soon she was running fingers through the heavy strands.

_My lord..._

Several minutes passed before Rin realized that heavy silence had fallen over the area and she looked up. Finding Jakken scowling at her she quickly turned her eyes to her lord to see if she'd gone too far.

Kouga pushed himself to his feet slowly, shaking his head to clear it. The zip of arrows told him that the attack was still happening but there were howls of rage and the cries of the injured were less. They'd gone on the offensive. His head jerked up and spun around. Where was Rin?

" !#!#."

" What the hell do you think you're doing?" InuYasha scowled at the people grouped around his doorway.

" You have the right to refuse service to our lord," the tall broody man glared at InuYasha. " He has accepted that. Your wife, however, does not have the right to refuse aid to our battle. All priestesses must attend to our troops and cause." A smile cracked his lips, drawing up on one side of his face. " She has no choice in the matter."

" No choice? No choice? I'll show you no choice," InuYasha cracked his knuckles and stepped foreword.

" InuYasha wait." A gentle hand rested on his arm, restraining him. Kagome stepped around him.

" I'll go with him."

" Over my dead body." InuYasha moved to step in front of her again and her grip tightened.

" InuYasha," she leaned foreword and pulled him down till she could talk quietly to him. " It will serve a purpose. If I need you to get me out I'll let you know."

InuYasha glowered at her. His eyes darted to the belligerent commander who had started to tapping his foot. " I don't like this."

" You don't have to." She put her hand on his cheek gently for just a moment before sliding it down to rest on his shoulder. " I can see what I can do to avert this better from inside then outside and I have faith that you'll be watching me. Besides, these pipsqueaks? I mean really they might out number me but they certainly can't do anything if I don't want them to."

Sesshomaru had his narrowed and was looking at her intently. She froze for a moment, fearing the once had meant how many times she could touch it.

" Jakken, take care of Ah-nun."

" Y-yes my lord."

When the tiny figure had disappeared from sight Sesshomaru turned to Rin.

" Once."

He sat down in front of the log, in front of her. Rin stared at him confusedly. She'd been playing with his hair...he'd sent Jakken away and now his hair was right in front of her along with the top of his head. She reached out and placed her hands tentatively on the top of his head.

Nothing, no reaction. That meant it was okay. She ran her hands down a little before placing them back near the top of his head. Still no reaction. Emboldened she stood up onto her tiptoes to place her hands as close to the top of his head as she could and entwined her fingers in his hair and ran her hands slowly down through it

_ I was so happy _

AN: It's short yes, but it's also a start. Tally ho!


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